The dorky friend’s name game

IDEA: Works like the vagina game (1. replace one word of a movie title with “vagina”; 2. repeat) but with the name of your dorkiest friend. Also works with song titles and lyrics.

EXPLANATION: My friends Kevin and Sean played this with me using Andy Toncic, our Dean of Men (who, because of a drunk incident, became what we called “Dean of Fuck-all”). If you’ve met the man, “The Lion Dean” is a very very funny thing to hear.

Now Kevin and I play the game using Sean and pop songs. “All you need is Sean!” “Sean just called to say he loves you.” “If Sean wants to be my lover…” Kevin wrote it up.

ROYALTIES REQUESTED: Find a way to make this funny with “Hoedown.”

Bocce the City

IDEA: City-wide bocce game, like an 18-hole round of golf.

EXPLANATION: Bocce is best played in a variety of environments, with adapted equipment as necessary. For example, to play Bocce San Francisco, start on the Marina Green, then at Pier 39. Play in the Ferry Building on the Embarcadero with a set of soft, light balls that will not damage the floor. Play a round on Market St. before hopping on the MUNI or F trolley and playing a round in transit. Play through the Civic Center and in the Upper Haight. End up at Golden Gate Park for a good four rounds and finish at the beach.

If you have a bocce plan for your own town or city, write it below.

ROYALTIES REQUESTED: Action photos, so I can send the winner a Bocce Medal.